Spilled Milk

Excerpt from Just a Minute by Wess Stafford....


A famous research scientist was being interviewed by a newspaper reporter, who asked him why he thought he was able to be so much more creative than the average person. What set him so far apart from others?

He responded that, in his opinion, it all came from an experience with his mother that occurred when he was about two years old. He had been trying to remove a bottle of milk from the refrigerator when he lost his grip and it fell, spilling its contents all over the kitchen floor -- a veritable sea of milk.

When his mother came into the kitchen, instead of yelling at him, giving him a lecture, or punishing him, she said, "Robert, what a great and wonderful mess you have made! I have rarely seen such a huge puddle of milk. Well, the damage has already been done. Would you like to get down and play in the milk for a few minutes before we clean it up?"

Indeed, he did. After a few minutes, his mother said, "You know, Robert, whenever you make a mess like this, eventually you have to clean it up and restore everything to its proper order. So, how would you like to do that? We could use a sponge, a towel, or a mop. Which would you prefer?" He chose the sponge, and together they cleaned up the milk.

His mother then said, "You know, what we have here is a failed experiment in how to effectively carry a big milk bottle with two tiny hands. Let's go out in the back yard and fill the bottle with water so you can discover a way to carry it without dropping it." The little boy learned that if he grasped the bottle at the top near the lip with both hands, he could carry it without dropping it. What a wonderful lesson!

This renowned scientist then remarked that it was at that moment that he knew he didn't need to be afraid to make mistakes. Instead, he learned that mistakes were just opportunities for learning something new, which is, after all, what scientific experiments are all about. Even if the experiment "doesn't work," we usually learn something valuable from it. (151-152)


What a powerful image of giving kids an opportunity to make mistakes and let them know that it's okay. I pray that I can remember this story when my kiddos make a huge mess or spill something. Instead of responding in anger, I hope that I can respond with patience and the kindness of this mother.

Patience.

Come wash your hands, please. Use your words. Use your walking feet. Hold the railing, please. Use your words. Tell him you need space. Quiet voices inside. Use your words. {repeat repeat repeat repeat}

Did you hear what I said?

My job requires a lot of repeating myself! And it can easily wear a person out having to say the same things over and over again every day. Last week I was with the 3 1/2 year old class and we were walking back from the gym to their classroom upstairs. Usually they need to be reminded to hold the railing or use their inside voices, but this particular afternoon there were a few little boys who were having a hard time using their walking feet. They were wrestling and pulling each other on the rope, all while screaming of course. I asked them if they were going to be able to calm their bodies or if they needed some help. After a few warnings I told one of the boys he was going to lose the privilege of holding the rope and he sort of melted down at that point (in the middle of the stairs, of course making it difficult for everyone to walk around him). I told him how sad it was that he wasn't listening to my words and that he needed to move so his friends could get into the classroom. After he was pulled aside I asked him what he did that made me sad and he said he wasn't listening and he was playing on the stairs when he should have been walking. So he knew exactly what he was supposed to be doing, he was just having a hard time doing it.

While this whole dramatic scene was talking place there were two parents following behind me on their way to pick up their kids. They were talking to each other but loud enough that I could also hear. The mom was saying things like, "Wow, imagine the patience it takes to work here. I could never work here. She's so calm and that kid isn't listening at all..." This made me laugh and I wanted to tell her, "you can't even imagine what an average day sounds like around here!"

Since I heard that comment I've been even more intentional with having patience with the children. I never know who will be listening- a parent, another teacher, or even just the other kids. They pick up on your tone instantly and when a teacher is yelling the kids get agitated with each other really quickly. Sometimes its exhausting trying to keep your cool and repeat yourself calmly, but I know that its the best way to handle the situations. God has blessed me with the gift of patience and has placed me at this child care so I can continue training myself to be patient in tough situations.

And if you have a hard time with patience, I recommend the patience song... :)