Last paper ever!

[almost.]

Move-in day last September. So blessed
to be living with this girl again!

I'm currently writing my last research-style paper where I have to use citations. This paper is for my Christian Doctrine: Holy Spirit class and I've actually really enjoyed it. We are a class of about 10 students (on any given day- there are always people absent!) and it's mostly discussion based on different readings. I like that we have gotten to the point that we can just discuss without people raising their hands. And most everyone always has something to say. Discussion can be painful when everyone sits there silently staring at the professor. All that to say, I am almost done! Once I finish this paper tonight I will have 2 other essay-type papers to write, 1 book to read and a poster to make for it, and 2 finals to take next week. CRAZY! Just a small puddle to jump over after considering where I started this quarter!

I'm not stressed about finishing school or finding time for everything because I know it will all get done. More of my stress is in the direction of finding a place to live! Janelle and I toured an apartment last night and it wasn't the nicest place in the world. They were replacing the floors, painting, and cleaning, but we still didn't have the best feeling about it. We have a tour at another apartment complex on Saturday morning and I am really praying that this one will work out perfectly. So far it all sounds good- its just a matter of visiting and then figuring out when we could move in! We have to be out of our current apartment by the end of next week, so we are running out of time. Sigh. It will all work out- just gotta trust God and keep searching!

First Day of School

Well, I made it through my last first day of college. It didn't start out so great however. I set my alarm for 6:45 to get up and get ready in time for my 8am class. Well THAT didn't happen. My alarm didn't go off and I woke up at 7:45 :/ I threw some sweats on and put my hair in a ponytail and made it to class with a minute to spare. I was thoroughly impressed with myself. So I sat thru my first two classes and then came back to my apartment to actually get dressed and ready for the day. It rained all day today, probably in honor of the first day of school, to remind us all that we're back to the land of cold and wetness.

Then this afternoon I had my Theology Capstone class and it was so great. There are only 6 students and 2 professors so we met at one of the professor's homes right near campus. We talked a lot about our journey at SPU and in the school of theology, how we got to where we are today, where we think we're going, and our intended vocation. We discussed how a vocation is more than just a job, it is a calling. Something God has called us to do and something we can do to honor and praise Him. When we listen to his calling that is when we are fulfilling his vocation for our lives.

I have been thinking a lot about this idea lately and feel with 100% certainty that I am exactly where God wants me to be. Looking back I can see so many places where God has guided me in the direction of children's ministry. I may not know what tomorrow brings, but I know that I am moving forward with this goal in mind. God is in control of my life and has the whole picture figured out, so why would I worry? Why would I ever fret knowing that he always has my best interest in mind? I am so thankful for a God who loves and cares for his children so much.

On a separate note, I am officially moved into my apartment and am mostly unpacked and set up. I just want to hang out in my room and enjoy my time at school, but alas there is already homework to be done. However, nothing more will be getting done tonight. Tomorrow is a new day with new hopes and goals :)

Move-in day with my lovely roommates :)

1st Day of School picture in my room

Today I am thankful for...



Sunshine

Trader Joe's Cashew Caramel Crunch Cookies

Inspiring books

Finding new music

A job that I LOVE :)

Springtime

only 50 days until summer :)

Power of Metaphor

In my Human Development and Christian Faith class we have been reading excerpts from a book by Donald Miller called Blue Like Jazz. The assignment for today was on the chapters regarding love and friendship and there has been one part stuck in my head all day. I know it's a little long, but it's worth reading.

          "It is always the simple things that change our lives. And these things never happen when you are looking for them to happen. Life will reveal answers at the pace life wishes to do so. You feel like running, but life is on a stroll. This is how God does things.
          My realization came while attending an alumni social for Westmont College. I had never attended Westmont, but my friend Michelle did, and she invited me. Greg Spencer, a communications professor, was to speak, and Michelle thought I might enjoy the lecture. I did. More than I can say. The lecture was about the power of metaphor. Spencer opened by asking us what metaphors we think of when we consider the topic of cancer. We gave him our answers, all pretty much the same, we battle cancer, we fight cancer, we are rebuilding our white blood cells, things like that. Spencer pointed out that the overwhelming majority of metaphors we listed were war metaphors. They dealt with battle. He then proceeded to talk about cancer patients and how, because of war metaphor, many people who suffer with cancer feel more burdened than, in fact, they should. Most of them are frightened beyond their need to be frightened, and this affects their health. Some, feeling that they have been thrust into a deadly war, simply give up. If there were another metaphor, a metaphor more accurate, perhaps cancer would not prove so deadly.
          Science has shown that the way people think about cancer affects their ability to deal with the disease, thus affecting their overall health. Professor Spencer said that if he were to sit down with his family and tell them he had cancer they would be shocked, concerned, perhaps even in tears, and yet cancer is nothing near the most deadly of diseases. Because of war metaphor, the professor said, we are more likely to fear cancer when, actually, most people survive the disease. [side note: I'm not so sure where he got his data on this one, but that's beside the point]
          Mr. Spencer then asked us about another area in which he felt metaphors cause trouble. He asked us to consider relationships. What metaphors do we use when we think of relationships? We value people, I shouted out. Yes, he said, and wrote it on his little white board. We invest in people, another person added. And soon enough we had listed an entire white board of economic metaphor. Relationships could be bankrupt, we said. People are priceless, we said. All economic metaphor. I was taken aback.
          And that's when it hit me like so much epiphany getting dislodged from my arteries. The problem with Christian culture is we think of love as a commodity. We use it like money. Professor Spencer was right, and not only was he right, I felt as though he had cured me, as though he had let me out of my cage. I could see it very clearly. If somebody is doing something for us, offering us something, be it gifts, time, popularity, or what have you, we feel they have value, we feel they are worth something to us, and perhaps, we feel they are priceless. I could see it so clearly, and I could feel it in the pages of my life. This was the thing that had smelled so rotten all these years. I used love like money. The church used love like money. With love, we withheld affirmation from the people who did not agree with us, but we lavishly financed the ones who did."

I have never thought about love in this way, but we use money terms all the time! We spend time with people. Friendships are priceless. We value time with people. We are using terms of commodity to explain something that can't be measured. I know I am supposed to love unconditionally, but how many people out there bug or irritate me? Do I love them even when it is difficult to like them? We cannot love someone unless we first like them. The whole, "I love you, but I don't have to like you" thing doesn't really work for me. How do you love someone the way God wants you to love them without liking them too? I may be wrong in this thinking, but I feel that it's important to at least consider what these terms look like. What does love look like? What does God say about love?

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

1 John 4:7-11

Almost There

It's done!! I finally finished and turned in my curriculum project! It feels so good to have this 60 page project completed. One less class to worry about over the next week. I still have two papers, a presentation, two finals, and some little homework assignments to finish up, but then I will be DONE! This quarter has worked me hard, but it is the same thing every time: look at everything I have to do, have a minor freak out that it won't get done, take a deep breath, do one thing at a time, and somehow I get to the end. God is so good to help me get to that point every quarter. Spring break is so close; I'm almost there.

"Learning to Praise God Everyday"

Today is Ash Wednesday and it's a very rainy day, rather appropriate I think. My mom sent me a book called 24 Hours That Changed the World that my pastor at home is using for a study during this season of Lent.

 

"Adam Hamilton offers 40 days of reflection and meditation enabling us to pause, dig deeper, and emerge changed forever." I am really excited to get into this book because I think that Lent is a time that many Christians don't think about. I know a lot of people think it is a Catholic thing (which is strange to me, where did they get that?). Lent is just as much a part of the Christian church year as is Easter, Advent, or Christmas, but that's another discussion for another day. Today's reading was on Luke 22:7-13:

Then came the day of Unleavened Bread, on which the Passover lamb had to be sacrificed. So Jesus sent Peter and John, saying, "Go and prepare the Passover meal for us that we may eat it." They asked him, "Where do you want us to make preparations for it?" "Listen," he said to them, "when you have entered the city, a man carrying a jar of water will meet you; follow him into the house he enters and say to the owner of the house, 'The teacher asks you, "Where is the guest room, where I may eat the Passover with my disciples?"' He will show you a large room upstairs, already furnished. Make preparations for us there." So they went and found everything as he had told them; and they prepared the Passover meal.

In those days these preparations would have been done by the women. Why did Jesus ask Peter and John and not Mary and Martha? Did they not complain or grumble at all about being asked to do a task that was "below" them? Part of being a servant is doing what God asks of you, no matter what that means. (Almost especially if it means you won't get any earthly attention or credit for it.) At the time they probably did not realize the importance of what they were doing, but Peter and John prepared one of the most important meals Jesus took part of.

Only God knows the plans for the rest of my life; I can try to plan on my own, but God has total control over what happens. How willing am I to listen to the things he tells me to do? Do I submit myself to HIS will so that HE may be most glorified? Peter and John clearly got some recognition (in the least that they were named) for this event and they both played an important role in the early church, but what about the man whose house it was? It surely caused some sacrifice on his part to allow this group of people to use his upstairs room for a big meal such as Passover. He is not even named in the scripture. How many of us would be willing to give up our house for a group of people we may not even know to come have a celebration? Just let them use our things and stay as long as they desire. I know it would not be my first idea.

The season of Lent has just begun, but the journey to the cross is here. The next few months is all about Jesus on his way to do what he came for. He knows what is ahead and how it will all end. He is almost there.

Lord, I offer myself to you. Use me to do whatever is needed, no matter how small. Like the unnamed disciple in the story, help me to serve without recognition. Amen.

Praise the LORD

My life lately has been focused around a huge project for my curriculum class... I'm writing a 4-week Sunday School curriculum for kindergarten and first grade students. It is currently around 60 pages and still has a weekend's worth of work to go. Truth be told, I am LOVING putting this thing together. We were instructed to write about Psalm 117...
Praise the LORD, all you nations;
   extol him, all you peoples.
For great is his love toward us,
   and the faithfulness of the LORD endures forever.
   Praise the LORD.
I don't know how many hundred times I have read this verse, but I will forever be learning what it means. What does it mean to praise the LORD? What does it mean that praise has been commanded of ALL people? What does it mean that God loves us? Why does God love us? How is God faithful to us? Why does God continue to be faithful to us when we are so unfaithful to him? These are just some of the questions I have attempted to answer in my curriculum lessons (in a way that 5-6 year olds can understand...) As I have been focusing so much on how children understand these things, I realize that I have been learning all of these things too. How do I REALLY bring praise to God? Am I glorifying God every day? The more I study the more I question how I live my life every day. How do I practically apply the things that I learn in class, chapel, church, or devotions to real life? As I struggle with all of these things I look back to the second part of the verse and am reminded that no matter what, God is LOVING and FAITHFUL. He is my all in all through every up and every down. How undeserving I am of a God who is loving and faithful forever and ever.
All these thoughts, and I still have a project to get done. I've been working on it constantly for over a week so now I just have "finishing" details, but anyone that knows me knows that the details will take me all weekend to finish! :)