Thankful for the seeds.

Ch-ch-ch-changes are happening and I am choosing to be thankful. I am not the first person to admit to liking change or even welcoming it without a fight, but I am learning {finally} that change is a part of life and I can't do much to stop it. The first change is that summer is coming to a close. Boo. However, that means there are lots of wonderful things about fall coming....pumpkin spice lattes, scarves, boots, beautiful leaves, scented candles, my birthday, Thanksgiving, and eventually Christmas! Many stores already have their Christmas things out for sale, and while I think it is a little early, it does make me excited for my favorite time of year.

Changes are happening at work. We've just graduated 13 (mostly) potty-trained kiddos to the next classroom and are getting 9 (not potty-trained) new ones on Wednesday. I am preparing myself for the work that is ahead, but I'm excited for a fresh start and new kiddos who are excited to learn more independence in my classroom.

Changes are happening at church (which is also sort of my work). We're starting a new year- kids in new classes, new schedules, new teachers, Wednesday night church, etc. I've actually been missing a lot of these things lately which means I know I'm ready to jump back in with both feet.

Changes are happening with my friends. Getting married, getting engaged, having babies. I am so happy to be a part of all these experiences with them and look forward to more of it happening in the next year.

Changes are happening with MY life. I've thought and prayed a lot about what my next step in life is. Where do I go? What do I do? I've told God, give me a direction and I will follow. This song by Sidewalk Prophets describes my life perfectly right now. Even if it scares me or worries me, I will trust that God is leading me. I'm preparing myself to leave Seattle next summer and move back to California and attend grad school. School? Work? Friends? Church? All of those things are up in the air, but I feel okay about it.

A few days ago I was reading Ann Voskamp and she was writing about how God has provided every plant and tree and fruit we would need, but it doesn't start out that way. Things start out small, like a seed. She prays, Lord, what would happen today if I saw all the not-enough, too-little in my life to be but a seed? All the hardly-things could be holy-things -- small somethings You are growing into more glory for You. Cause me to believe again: All feasts begin as a seed.

Wow. What if I saw my life this way also. All the small things that I think don't matter. All the frustrating moments where things don't go my way. My kiddos at work are these seeds. My plans for the future are still seeds. My life is merely but a seed at this point, growing into the feast that God has planned for me from the start. Today, I am thankful for the seeds.

This season of life.

Let's start this post by saying my apartment smells gloriously like peanut butter because I just made a double batch of these peanut butter oatmeal chocolate chip cookies! Oh.my.word. SO good!

Life has been busy and calm all at the same time lately. And since a picture says a thousand words, I'm going to let my pictures speak for me.

My best friend got married!! Everything was absolutely beautiful- the bride, the ceremony, the marriage, and of course the bridal party ;)

So thankful for my daddy. 

The roomie graduated from SPU (oh, and she's TEACHING there in the fall) Ridiculously proud of this girl!

Mom and Dad came for a visit in June. It was great to spend time with them in Seattle.

I've been loving the Magnolia Farmer's Market just a mile or so away from my house. A few weeks ago I bought fresh raspberries and made yummy jam. Farmers market fresh homemade jam...makes me feel like the pioneer woman. haha

4th of July weekend was full of food, family, and friends in California. I'm SO glad I got to see these two wonderful women while I was home!

Flying back to Seattle from the Long Beach Airport. Seriously, my favorite airport ever.

Celebrating a new baby!! Loved showering this family and sharing this journey with them as they anticipate the arrival of their little girl. 

Another celebration! But this time for a birthday...half a century right, Meg? ;)

Less then a dozen pictures and so many important people in my life! Seriously, these are the people who have helped to shape me into the person that I am today. They have laughed with me, cried with me, and been there for me no matter what is happening in my life. I am truly blessed by the people I call friends and love being able to celebrate their weddings, babies, birthdays, and more.

It seems like everyone I know is getting engaged, married, having a baby, buying a house, or doing something else exciting and life changing. What am I doing you ask? Welp, I'm still trying to figure that out. I've been researching grad schools in California to get a Master's in Teaching and a teaching credential...So that's the current plan for next year-ish. I'm really excited about the idea of moving back to California and becoming a teacher there, but it also terrifies me. Seattle has finally started to feel like home and where I thought I would be for a while... and now I'm looking at changing ALL of that.

But isn't that what life is about? Get comfortable and bam! life changes! Through all these changes and unknowns I know that one thing stays the same. God is faithful. He will not leave me or forsake me. I know that his plans are bigger and better than anything I could come up with by myself. I am thankful for this confidence because I couldn't imagine going through life without knowing that there is a God who has taken care of everything for me. No matter where the future takes me, I am thankful for each season that the Lord provides.

"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven." Ecclesiastes 3:1

Up, Up, and Away

It doesn't matter how many times I fly across the country, it still amazes me that a giant aluminum object can carry 200+ people (and all their stuff) thousands of miles up into the sky. Something about flying also greatly increases my prayer life momentarily...even though I know it is more dangerous to drive in a car or ride a train or whatever the statistics say about accidents, flying in an airplane still worries me every so often. Especially when the plane starts making funny noises. I want to knock on the pilot's door and ask, "Is that supposed to be doing that??"

Friday night as my flight was leaving from Seattle I was praying for the pilot and flight crew (as per my usual pre-flight prayer) and what popped into my head? None other than the theme song from last summer's VBS.

"Up, up, and away we go,

Into the great beyond,

Wherever we go and whatever we do, 

We're trusting God all along."

Suddenly I was thinking that being a passenger on an airplane is somewhat like following God. I am trusting that the pilot and crew are trained to fly this huge thing and land it properly in my final destination. Shouldn't I also be trusting that God is directing my life in the way He sees fit? When I'm sitting in an airplane I can't see out the front window, I can hardly see the ground for most of the flight. If its a clear day maybe I'll get a glimpse of a mountain or the ocean and as the plane gets closer to the ground perhaps I'll start to recognize a few landmarks. When God is directing my life, its true that I can't see the whole picture, but I do get glimpses of what the future holds. And looking back I can see that I where I ended up is right where I should be.

Sometimes I'm frustrated that I can't see out the front window or that I don't understand why I'm experiencing such turbulence. I think that maybe if I was flying the plane I would be able to do a better job, when really I have none of the qualifications to do so. In the end I'm so thankful to not be in control of that plane.

No matter where I am, what people do, or how I feel.... trust God!

Thanks VBS, for still teaching me things as an adult.

You are good.

When the sun starts to rise and I open my eyes
You are good, so good.
In the heat of the day with each stone that I lay
You are good, so good.

With every breath I take in, I'll tell you I'm grateful again.
When the moon climbs high before each kiss goodnight,
You are good.

When the road starts to turn around each bend I've learned,
You are good, so good.
And when somebody's hand holds me up helps me stand,
You are so good.

With every breath I take in I'll tell You I'm grateful again
'Cause its more than enough just to know I am loved,
And You are good.

So how can I thank You, what can I bring?
What can these poor hands lay at the feet of a King?
I'll sing You a love song.
It's all that I have, to tell You I'm grateful for holding my life in Your hands.

When it's dark and it's cold and I can't feel my soul,
You are so good.
When the world is gone gray and the rain's here to stay,
You are still good.

So with every breath I take in, I'll tell You I'm grateful again.
And the storm may swell, even then it is well and You are good.

30 Thankful Days

Last November I kept a simple list of things I am thankful for each day. Ideally I would love to do this every day all year long, but clearly I'm not so great at it. However, for November I have committed to be thankful in all circumstances. At the end of each day I think back over the events of that day, and consider a small blessing that turned into a big blessing on that particular day. As my dad always says, we are truly blessed - blessed with good health and a great family. Blessed with a roof over our heads and plenty of food in the fridge. Blessed with employment and a comfortable life. My mom always uses the phrase "There but for the grace of God, go I" and I've always understood the idea behind that saying, but I looked up a better explanation of it and I think it fits perfectly. This historical phrase website (called the phrase finder) describes it by saying: I too, like someone seen to have suffered misfortune, might have suffered a similar fate, but for God's mercy. It is only by God's grace that we are blessed, and by responding in thankfulness we are all acknowledging these blessings in our lives.

November Blessings Part 1:
1. My brother, Bob, and getting to see him perform with his improv group at Seattle U.
2. The return of red Starbucks cups and gingerbread lattes :)
3. Laughter with friends.
4. The women on the Alumni Falconette Board.
5. A great day at work in my new classroom, Orange Giraffes.
6. A night at home with Luke - eating chili, watching tv, and simply enjoying each others company.
7. A surprise visit from Luke after a long day at work.
8. Hugs from 2 year olds who say "I got you!" as they squeeze their little arms around your neck.
9. Sunshine on a chilly fall day.

Too Small to Ignore

Excerpt from Too Small to Ignore by Wess Stafford:

     Compassion's South Korea director, Dr. Justin Suh, and members of his board of directors were visiting our work in Ecuador and arrived at a certain project one evening. They were scheduled to see the program the next morning.
     "We are so grateful for your visit to us," the pastor said when they climbed out of the minibus. "But I'm so very sorry to inform you that tomorrow will not be a typical day at our project. I know you want to meet the children and see what we are trying to do for them in this desperate community, but..." At this, the man's throat began to tighten. "The children will not be gathering as usual tomorrow. Instead, we will have a funeral."
     He took a deep breath before continuing. "Two of our little boys, brothers, were crossing the busy street to come to the project yesterday and were struck by a huge truck. The eight-year-old was severely injured and is in intensive care at the city hospital. But the little six-year-old was crushed and died in the dirty street. He was a wonderful little boy. We are all brokenhearted."
Justin Suh replied, "Oh, my brother, we are so very sorry."
     The pastor wiped a tear and continued, "In our culture, children do not generally attend funerals, especially tragic ones like this. So I'm afraid you will not see among us what you came so far to see."
The South Korean leaders conferred and then offered, "Would it be all right if we came anyway, sat with your congregation, and just grieved with our Ecuadorian brothers and sisters in their great loss? We know something of such great sorrow in our own land."
     The next morning when the Korean delegation arrived at the little church, the sanctuary was filled to capacity. To their surprise, some sixty of the mourners sitting on the coarse wooden benches were children. The pastor met visitors at the door and just shrugged his shoulders; he had no explanation for why so many children had shown up for a funeral.
     While waiting for the service to begin, our national staff members began to move among the children, quietly talking with them in Spanish. Eventually Justin and his group heard the report. Child after child had said, "He was my friend. He is the one who told me of Jesus' love. He helped me invite Jesus into my heart. I'm sad, but I've come today to send him to his heavenly home."
     This little Ecuadorian child had led over fifty of his friends to Jesus! His life's work was gloriously accomplished by the tender age of six. God needed a great evangelist for that village. He needed a child.

I have been so incredibly touched by this book and would recommend it to anyone interested in going into ministry, even if you don't think you want to serve children. This book will change your outlook on how children can be a part of the church TODAY.

Blessings

I am blessed. When I look around and see all that God has provided for me I can't be anything but blessed. I know that, as humans, we can always find things to complain about, but it takes so much more energy. I first started thinking about my blessings last week during finals. I was leaving my psychology final and could hear little screams from across the street. Of course I recognized those screams of excitement and went over to the playground asking, "Who's making all this noise?!" I was rushed by thirteen excited 2 & 1/2 and 3 year olds screaming "EMILYYYYY!!!! Come play with us!!!!" I told them I would be back after naptime and they all went back to playing, but let me tell you, it brightened my day so much. I really love those kids, even the ones that sometimes drive ya nuts. They are a blessing in my life.

There are so many other blessings I have been counting (in no particular order of course)- my school, my roommates, my friends, my family, my boyfriend, a roof over my head, healthy food to eat, clean water to drink, a warm shower at night, a comfy bed to sleep in, a loving church to worship in, an advisor who welcomes her students into her home, a job that pays me to do something I love, a successful quarter of classes complete, a break from school, rain on dry ground, sunshine to warm my skin...

Saturday morning I started reading a book called One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp, and I have fallen in love with the outlook on life that the she presents. It is about finding the simple things in life and getting through situations by praising God and being thankful for the blessings He has provided. Even through loss and heartache, God's grace overflows continually in our lives. Sometimes we just need to open our eyes to find it.

"I know there is poor and hideous suffering, and I've seen the hungry and the guns that go to war. I have lived pain, and my life can tell: I only deepen the wound of the world when I neglect to give thanks for early light that dappled through leaves and the heavy perfume of wild roses in early July and the song of crickets on humid nights and the rivers that run and the stars that rise and the rain that falls and all the good things that a good God gives. Why would the world need more anger, more outrage? How does it save the world to reject unabashed joy when it s joy that saves us? Rejecting joy to stand in solidarity with the suffering doesn't rescue the suffering. The converse does.

The brave who focus on all things good and all things beautiful and all things true, even in the small, who give thanks for it and discover joy even in the here and now, they are the change agents who bring fullest Light to all the world.

When we lay the soil of our hard lives open to the rain of grace and let joy penetrate our cracked and dry places, let joy soak into our broken skin and deep crevices, life grows. How can this not be the best thing for the world? For us? The clouds open when we mouth thanks."