Hello September. I AM ready.

Well, I guess you could say that summer is officially over for me. September has arrived and I will be leaving for school the day after tomorrow. Most of my things are packed up and piled in my room; I have made a to-do list of last minute things (ranging from sending emails to painting my toe nails- priorities, I know); I have said good-bye to most of my friends that are still left at home; I have absorbed as much sun as possible for a white girl like me; and I am ready to get this year started. That was a statement: I AM ready. Or am I?


This summer I have learned so much about who I am and who I want to be, but I am still searching for how to get those things and go to those places. I know that I love children and have such a heart for children's ministry, but do I want it to be my full-time job? This year will give me a good taste of what that will be like as I am interning at my church in Seattle. My inbox has been overwhelmed with emails the past week or so because there are a lot of changes going on at the church, especially with the family ministries. As I read each one I think "What have I gotten myself into?!" I have been praying lately that I would take things one step at a time and that God would show me what I need to know as it arrives. However, I am still nervous about it all.

Last night I was reading in a devotion book entitled "Father, I long for a heart that dances" by Catherine Martin. (If you know me you know that disciplining myself to have quiet time is something I always struggle with. I don't know why, but it is. Lately I have had more of a heart that, as this book says, longs to dance with the Lord.) Anyways I was reading about Moses and how in Exodus 3 he comes up with every excuse possible why God should pick someone else. All the while God is basically telling him, no I want YOU. End of discussion. It got me thinking, how many times do I think ohh God you got the wrong person for that job; I can't do that, I don't know how; I might mess up; People might think of me differently. (And the list could go on and on). Not that I am regretting my decision to intern by any means, but sometimes I wonder have I really bitten off more than I can chew? How I am I going to be able to do all the things that are required of me?


Reading about Moses last night, reassured me that I WILL be able to do all of these things because I have God lifting me up and giving me my strength. I am not doing anything nearly as scary or difficult as the things Moses went through, and he made it through just fine. Moses had the same gracious God supporting him that supports me today. So even though I may seem overwhelmed, in my heart I know that God has it all under control and will give me exactly what I need, when I need it. And I am so thankful to have a God like that.

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Isaiah 41:10