Learning.

Tonight I was able to hang out with one of my best friends, Sarah. We went and saw One Day (not a very good movie by the way), got some Del Taco for dinner, and headed back to her dorm to hang out for a bit. She is an R.A. this year and has a handful of residents who have moved in early. As the evening continued on five girls found their way to her room and it was so great to hang out with them. I am SO proud of her for being a freshman R.A. this year! She is going to be so awesome with those young women!!

I've been thinking a lot about the past three years at college, and every experience has made me who I am today, but sometimes I wonder who I would be if things had been different. If I would have taken more chances, been more outgoing, met more people, joined more clubs, gone on retreats, etc. etc. I didn't go into college with the attitude that I would meet my best friends or find a husband or even that I would want to live in Seattle forever. I thought I already had that all figured out and I would just be going to school, I would "survive" it and then move home as quickly as I could get it over with. Boy was I wrong. I have met some of the most amazing people and have had some of the best experiences of my life. And I know this is just a chapter, but instead of trying to "get thru it," I want to fully embrace the final year of my college experience.

The Lord is showing me more and more every day that the more I think I have things all figured out the LESS I have figured out. Hindsight is always 20-20 and no matter what anyone told me I wouldn't have changed anything, but my advice now to anyone just starting college would be to embrace it with both arms open. I was holding on so tightly to the past that I was afraid to accept the future. I was (and still am) scared of changes that happen. There is nothing I can do to avoid change, but it never really gets any easier for me. I know that God will take care of me and I believe wholeheartedly that he has a plan for my life, but sometimes its hard figuring out what that plan is exactly.

This year will determine a lot of things for me. Graduate school or no graduate school? Move home or stay in Seattle (or move somewhere else??)? Career in children's ministry or something else? Meet someone to marry or stay single for a while? There may only be a few things to determine, but they are all pretty life altering (and most of them lead to even more questions). The only thing I can do is continue to pray for guidance and peace in each decision I make. I suppose you could say I'm still learning how to live.